Does The Sun Play Politics?
This Easter Holiday saw the unexpected and countrywide return of ‘The Sun’ despite Mother Natures long standing campaign to keep Bank Holiday weekends ‘Wet and Blustery’.
In a shock twist, it looked like The Sun was being drawn into politics as David Cameron commented that ‘The Coalition Government had worked tirelessly to get the weather to improve despite the effects of damaging policies and legacies left behind by the previous government which had kept it away’ Nick Clegg emphasised that the Liberals input and long standing policies for ‘niceness’ were key to the return of The Sun despite the Tory’s claims it was about long term traditional family values. Clegg added ‘More Liberal votes will result in more sunshine in the future for everyone’.
The recent warnings from the UK Office for Gloomy Outlook (The Met Office, not the Treasury) of further miserable weather had not alluded to the possible appearance of The Sun in case it did not appear, resulting in dashed hope and criticism for foolishly suggesting it may come out over a bank holiday weekend. Following last years ‘Hosepipe Ban’ warning from the Met Office in what turned out to be the second wettest year on record, and the ‘BBQ summer’ of 2009 which was the wettest year on record, no one from the met office was available to comment.
Commentators probing into the previous governments handling of The Weather observed that their current leader, Ed Milliband was previously Climate Change Secretary, and some of the decision making into ‘The Weather’ during Labours governance is highly questionable. “Labour were handed an environment which was warming nicely and totally wrecked it”. While, on the handover of power to the Coalition a note was discovered in the treasury stating that ‘There is no money left’ a similar note in the Sun Committee Review Environmental Warming Estimation Department (work out the acronym) said ‘The trouble with global warming is that it is b@!!@(£$, there is no evidence for it at all’.
The appearance of the sun has had effects in other areas too with The French blockading channel ports claiming we had exceeded our quota of The Sun. Alex Salmond would be first King Emperor President of Scotland stated that ‘Scotland would get the greatest share of The Sun from the UK regardless of any nationalisation or EU rules, and another row in The Mail as controversial columnist Littlejohn claimed it was ‘The fault of Gay Marriage and our immigration policies’. Meanwhile, at the other ‘The Sun’ a sign of relief was heard by Rupert Murdoch as this current issue of SUNGATE is the first not to affect the evil old so and so.